Tuesday, March 25, 2008

This one time...In 4th grade...

So initially, I didn't really know what I was going to write about today. I had just finished my latest batch of stories from McSweeney's (13 recommendationss) and didn't really feel like writing about them yet. Also, I couldn't really think of a particularly good story to tell. I found myself in danger of missing a day of posting. Then, in typical fashion, something just sort of inspired me.

I was playing some tennis earlier, and there were these three young kids, maybe 8 or 9, playing basketball. One of the kids was really annoying, yelling out AIRBALL!!! every time one of the kids took a shot. Btw, this had to be one of the laziest kids I've ever seen as he would ride his razor scooter across the blacktop, then get off it, walk down the hill to get a lost ball, throw the ball back, climb back on the scooter, and ride back over to his friends. It was distracting not only for the kid shooting the ball (the whole point), but also for me. But then, that's just kids being kids. During this episode, I was suddenly reminded of a story that in retrospect is somewhat amusing and decided it would be the focus of today's post.

It was during 4th grade recess, and I was walking around with a couple of my friends. We wanted to play basketball, but all the courts were taken. There was one court with a few girls (who, as every boy knows, at that age have cooties. Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, now I have my cootie shot!) on it. We sort of decided that we wanted their court and probably said any number of stupid things in order to take the court from them. Of course, our actions were completely futile, and we didn't get the court at all. However, at one point, the ball rolls/bounces towards us. I pick it up and shoot it at the basket. Nothing but net. This is somewhat impressive since I was only 10, and it was a rather long shot. Of course, my friends hoot and holler my amazing skills (aka luck) while I stand their triumphantly, and we go off on our way. We didn't get the court, but obviously we made our point. Boys rule, girls drool. How young and silly we were.

In other news, I clicked on a video on CNN.com where CNN's resident doctor, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, discussed a new contraceptive coming out in about a year, the male birth control pill. (I'd like to point out that in their web address, CNN spelled birrth wrong. They should hire me as their copyeditor.) Now, I really have no issues with the pill for men. I'm equal opportunity when it comes to popping pills, and it has the same level of effectiveness as the pill for women. For comparisons sake, perfect use of a condom has about a 3% failure rate, though typical use is closer to 20%. (Wikipedia) However, Gupta discusses that in order for the pill to be effective, you need to be taking it for at least three months before it's fully operational. Also, once you start, if you want to stop and have kids, you need to wait another 3 months for the hormones to work their way out of your body, and you become fertile again. Again, nothing inherently wrong with this, but as a single male, I don't particularly see an advantage of getting it when it comes out. I have to wait 3 months for it to kick in, and there really aren't any exciting beneficial side effects outside of a weight gain of 4-10 lbs of lean muscle due to the testosterone which I don't really need right now. Besides, it's not really going to change my philosophy of when I should be using condoms. In other words, I think it's a really good idea that I can easily foresee myself using as I'm not one of those über-machismo guys who don't want to feel like they would have lost their potency (ironically, these may be the same guys supporting the steroid industry). However, I don't really see myself using it unless I'm in a serious LTR where it would make more sense. Until then, I think I can live under the age old moniker told to me once by one of my 2nd year roommates, “If you are going to hump, cover your stump.” And that's my two cents on the male birth control pill. On a side note, I just had a funny image in my head of the packaging for the pill being a little black case with a sperm inside one of those circles with a line through it.

Music listened to while writing this post: Antonio Orozco

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Oh, Mike, you truly crack me up. Did you know that the pill is not necessarily effective for the first month for a woman? And that it can take up to a year for the effects to wear of so she can get preggers? Food for thought.
P.S. Your entry on dating had me laughing too. As a literary nerd, I truly appreciate everything you said.
~Jenn