Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

I'm going to come straight out and admit that I am a fan of Are you smarter than a 5th grader? My mom is a huge fan of Deal or No Deal, though I'm not a big fan. I've even seen Moment of Truth a few times just to see what it would be like. Having watched it, I think that it should be renamed to something like, How to Ruin a Marriage or Divorce or No Divorce. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a divorce attorney on site for when they finish taping an episode. Now, nothing beats Jeopardy, but 5th grader is pretty good too, and I can generally answer all the questions. If you haven't figured it out, I like trivia.

Anyway, if I were ever to get on the show, this is definitely the strategy I would use. If you've never seen the show, the way it works is that they have 10 questions, 2 each from grades 1-5 plus a million dollar question. Obviously, grade 1 is the easiest, grade 5 is the hardest. After answering the 5th question, you are guaranteed $25,000. Now, most people start at grade 1 and work their way up which isn't really a bad strategy. You use the easiest questions to get you to the $25,000 mark, and just keep working your way harder and harder. Personally, I don't think this is the best strategy. The goal isn't to win $25,000, it's to win 1 million. 25K is just sort of a mid-goal. Instead, I would do this:

I'd save the grade 1 questions. They are easy, and I'm pretty sure I'd get them right without needed any of the cheats. Btw, there are 3 cheats: Peek at your 5th grade partner's answer, Copy (self-explanatory), or Save whereby if you get it wrong but they got it right, you take their answer. Instead I'd start at the grade 2 questions. They are probably not going to be much harder than the grade 1 questions so I'm still pretty sure I would get them right without wasting the easiest ones. So answer the grade 2 questions, answer the grade 3 questions, then to lock myself in at $25,000, I'd answer the first of the grade 1 questions. Making sure you answer this question right is one of the most important things as it guarantees you at least some money. Sure, I could get something wrong in grade 3, but the money amounts below 25K are negligible. It might be real money, but my goal is 1 million, not 5 or 10K.

To recap where I'm at, I still have 2 4th grade questions, 2 5th grade questions, and the other 1st grade question. Here's where things really get interesting. Even if you get the next question wrong, you are still guaranteed 25K, so what you really need to do is answer the hardest question left on the board, basically, the 5th grade question in the subject you are least comfortable with. Not that I see many people get to the last question, but too many people make the mistake of saving the hardest question for last. That's dumb; you want to put yourself in the best position to get to the million dollar question not the worst. Besides, you can see the question, and then drop out and stay at the money you've won, something I've always disliked. Anyway, I've now knocked out one of the 2 hardest questions. Now, I would answer the 4th grade questions. I know, I know, I still have a 1st grade question and each question is worth lot of money at this point, but my goal is to get to the million dollar question. Anyway, once you get past the 4th grade questions, you have a dilemma. You can answer the 1st grade question, get to 300K, and save the easier of the 2 5th grade questions for last, or the other way around, saving the 1st grade question for the very last one to get to the million. I can rationalize either strategy, though I think I would go with the former. It really depends on my comfort level with the 5th grade question category. Now, we've achieved the goal of getting to the million dollar question. In a little twist that I really like, you can see the million dollar question category for free, but if you see the question, you have to answer. Of course, I really want to see and answer the million dollar question, but I'm not an idiot, 500K is a lot of money, and if I don't know the answer, I lose 475K. That's a 975K swing. Ultimately, it depends on how you feel about the million dollar question category.

And there's the strategy for getting to the million dollar question. I've pondered whether it would be a good idea to start from the hardest questions to the easiest, but I think that it's not a very good idea because you still want to get to the 25K mark.

All this being said, I don't think they would ever want me on the show because I am far too likely to take them for a lot of money. Sure, they've had college professors and doctors and other really educated people on the show, but the only person I ever saw make it to the million dollar question was a Phd neuroscience grad student in her mid-20s which is very similar to my profile. That's probably who's going to be the first person to win the million on that show. They are intelligent enough to know a lot of general information, including a high possibility of being a regular at bar trivia nights. At the same time, they are young enough to remember a lot of the random bits of information from elementary school, specifically the grammar questions which always throw people. That's really why the 30-plus year old intelligent professionals have trouble and will be hard-pressed to win it all; they are just too far removed from some of the information that they probably haven't seen since they were in grade school.

Remember, if you use this strategy to win money on Are you Smarter than a 5th grader?, you are required to give me a cut for teaching you The Way.