Runaway Fist

So...I've been really bad about posting and feel fairly guilty about it. I do have some books and such to review, so I'm going to write them up soon. But for now, I had mentioned writing a few stories and had been waiting on some feedback from a few people, but they didn't get back to me. So I'm just going to post them today and tomorrow, and have you guys be my feed back. They still need some work, so tell me what you think. This is the shorter of the two stories, and I'm not sold on the title yet, but I still think it's funny. Oh, and I've thought of building around this story but haven't figured out what to do with it yet.

Runaway Fist


Rich walked into his apartment after being away all weekend to find his roommate John lying on the couch watching TV with a frozen steak on half of his face.
“Dude! What the fuck happened to you? Why the fuck do you have a frozen steak on your face? That’s not one of the good steaks, is it?”

“Nah, man. It’s one of the ones we got on sale last month. Nothing happened. I’m fine.”

“Okay, the last time I walked in here and you had a steak covering half of your face, you got into a bar fight with a tranny. I’m pretty sure something happened.”

“I did not get into a bar fight.”

“Well, that’s good to know. I wasn’t going to drive you to your court date this time if you had. So what happened?”

“I fell down some stairs.”

“Bullshit. The only time that one works is if you’re an old lady and at the bottom of the stairs you yell: ‘Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.’”

“Ha. Fine. I went out last night and ended up going home with this girl.”

“Who? Ms. Olympia?”

“I don’t know. Some chick. I was drunk at the time.”

“Well, unless she’s one kinky bitch, I’m guessing she’s not the one who wrecked half your face.”

“No…that would have been her boyfriend.”

“John…How many times have I told you? The only time you go back with two people to their place is if they are both girls.”

“Thanks…I’ll try to remember that useful bit of information for when it might actually happen. Apparently, the girl I went home with wasn’t exactly single.”

“Eesh. I’m guessing that he walked in on you banging his girl?”

“Something like that. I tried to get out of there, but I sort of ran into a problem. Namely, his fist.”

“That sounds painful.”

“That’s what my face said. He only got me a couple times, but I wasn’t exactly in the best position to defend myself. I just sort of grabbed my pants and got the fuck out of there as fast as I could.”

“Was she hot?”

“I think so. I got pretty shitcanned last night. Ask Chuck. He was with me most of the night until he left with her friend.”

“Please tell me she was good at least.”

“Not sure. It sort of depends. Do I still have all my teeth?”

“Um…looks like you’re missing one.”

“Shit. I had a feeling I puked one up this morning. In that case, she wasn’t that good.”

“Damn man…What are you going to do now?”

“Well, this steak feels pretty good right now, but eating only makes my face hurt. Sunday Night game is about to start. Wanna grab me a beer and watch the game?”

“Sure. Just let me just throw this stuff in my room.”